First things first, “Know who you are?”

Learn to know yourself… to search realistically and regularly the processes of your own mind and feelings.- Nelson Mandela

A lot is said about the importance of knowing yourself. Yet not enough stress can be laid upon how important it is.

Before we set out to change the world , a step we must take to know our self. As it may happen that while trying to change the world it may dawn upon us that it is more easier when we take a step to work on our self first.

Be silent when you go first to seek yourself. Listen quietly to the thumping of your heart. Feel the tightness of your chest when you slowly inhale the air. Feel your body relax a little when you let go of the breath.

Once you slip into this process of meeting with yourself it will start. If only you are patient you will start communicating with yourself. Not a mere start of a journey but an empowerment like no other.

If you never learnt to validate your emotions, it is time. Anger, happiness, sadness, jealousy are all a part of you. Don’t let anyone make you believe that you are successful only if you are happy all the time. All emotions are yours. You are all of them and not just one called happy. You are what your body is feeling , it is telling us something and never a wise person would brush it under the carpet. Your fears and your insecurities are valid and natural. For you must feel it completely, label it and once you have felt it so long that you cannot feel it any longer , then is the time to let it go.

Explore and notice your patterns of relationships. How have your past relationships been with your partner , friends or close ones is a good question to ask. Have you been clingy, insecure, unstable or often felt betrayed may indicate something to you about others but may speak a plethora about you . Poor coping mechanisms, dependent styles of forming relations may need a bit of an extra assistance. Seek professional help. Let’s end the stigma.

Do personality quizzes and know yourself questionnaires from approved websites. It may seem like a time wasted but anything which brings you closer to yourself can hardly be said to be that.

Talk to people whom you trust will give an honest and unbiased opinion on you. Those who provide you constructive feedback. Ignore the negative criticism. Unless you are strong enough and you will take it with grain of salt. As your imperfections simply define you. You are learning to embrace everything that you are.

Once in a while review situations which did not work well, trying to look at things objectively and not emotionally. A proactive person will know how they can assess and improve themselves, however let it not consume you. Write a journal if you may have to.

There is so much more that can be done. It is not a change you make in a day but a lifelong process to get comfortable and keep communicating, observing, understanding and accepting yourself. Life is not a destination to be reached in any given time but it’s a work in progress. Knowing yourself is a power. Let’s do first things first.

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