Moms have so many roles to play, they tell you. You are a teacher, a nurse, doctor, chef, friend and what not. However today of lately I have discovered that I am unwittingly taking upon a new role, of a ‘Referee’. My two children , a girl (5) and a boy (1) are going through new changes each day in their relationship as ‘siblings’. Those moments when they seem to be playing in harmony are blissful but the only drawback here is that they are so few. Looks like the battle between the two have begun earlier than anticipated. A lot of times as I am sometimes showing affection to my younger one, it does not go unnoticed by my daughter who displays an extremely observant countenance which will put your favourite T.V detective Sherlock Holmes to shame. “You do not love me so much”, she tells me sombrely. It puts me in a guilty spot at once and I quickly show her some affection as well. However the same incident often finds a quick repeat the next day and the next.
I remember that when I was expecting my second child I never believed that any one could be so important to me as my dd. However I was proved wrong when I gradually realised after my second issue was born that as a mother we become highly protective of our new born. My new changed perception and over protective instincts towards my youngest one makes me reminisce over my blow hot blow cold relationship with my own siblings. I still remember all the remote fights and trivial arguments over no-issues that I had with my younger siblings. To be honest it goes on even today where we sometimes disagree with one another and often lose contact for days but we always come around. It is said that the closest friend that you can ever have are your siblings. No matter how many friends that you make your siblings will always be your greatest well-wisher. They have no true replacement. Not to forget for those who have sisters, it is said that their never is a secret between the two.
A question which perplexes my mind is ‘can sibling rivalry exist between two such young kids as mine?’ I t is a frequent occurrence in my home when what breaks my concentration in the daily chores is the sound of yelling and whining when I have to drop everything and rush to the site of emergency. They are usually embroiled in a serious tug of war over day to day stuff lying in the house accompanied by screeching enough for me to want to open the door and run in the opposite direction. I will confess that the lo is no innocent victim either. All he does as soon as he sees my daughter in my lap is pull at her hair ruthlessly and cry for attention. How do you solve a situation when you see your elder one patiently set up her 2 feet high tower of legos and all it takes for the other naughty little ‘tyke’ is to come over and with a brush of his hands bring that tower crumbling down at her feet. After this chaos prevails. How do you explain to your 5yo why her little brother will never realize the ‘graveness of his offence’ . How do you babble to your infant that its a highly unrewarding act for the hard work of the 5 yo because of which I often have this conversation with my dd-
Me-I am so sorry for what your brother did, he is just a baby”
dd-“No he is not a baby , he is a shark”.
However these unpeaceful moments are beautifully balanced when you see how well they enjoy each others company. I cannot deny what a caring elder sister my daughter has turned out to be when she is always there to keep an eye on all the crazy things that your lo could be upto and all those moments when she is there to help me with his nappy changing and feeding and when I know that they are their to give each other company even when I get busy at times. It is also rewarding when sometimes your elder one tells you-
“I really love my brother, He is my best friend”,
even though the next moment you spot them pulling each other’s hair and the very next moment you are pulling your own!