Sibling Rivalry: How it all started?

Moms have so many roles to play, they tell you. You are a teacher, a nurse, doctor, chef, friend and what not. However today of lately I have discovered that I am unwittingly taking upon a new role, of a ‘Referee’. My two children , a girl (5) and a boy (1) are going through new changes each day in their relationship as ‘siblings’. Those moments when they seem to be playing in harmony are blissful but the only drawback here is that they are so few. Looks like the battle between the two have begun earlier than anticipated. A lot of times as I am  sometimes  showing affection to my younger one, it does not go unnoticed by my daughter who displays an extremely observant countenance which will put your favourite T.V detective Sherlock Holmes to shame. “You do not love me so much”, she tells me sombrely. It puts me in a guilty spot at once and I quickly show her some affection as well. However the same incident often finds a quick repeat the next day and the next.

baby-1681181_960_720I remember that when I was expecting my second child I never believed that any one could be so important to me as my dd. However I was proved wrong when I gradually realised after my second issue was born that as a mother we become highly protective of our new born. My new changed perception and over protective instincts towards my youngest one makes me reminisce over my blow hot blow cold relationship with my own siblings. I still remember all the remote fights and trivial arguments over no-issues that I had with my younger siblings. To be honest it goes on even today where we sometimes disagree with one another and often lose contact  for days but we always come around. It is said that the closest friend that you can ever have are your siblings. No matter how many friends that you make your siblings will always be your greatest well-wisher. They have no true replacement. Not to forget for those who have sisters, it is said that their never is a secret between the two.

animal-1850146_960_720A question which perplexes my mind is ‘can sibling rivalry exist between two such young kids as mine?’ I t is a frequent occurrence in my home when what breaks my concentration in the daily chores is the sound of yelling and whining when I have to drop everything and rush to the site of emergency. They are usually embroiled in a serious tug of war over day to day stuff lying in the house accompanied by screeching enough for me to want to open the door and run in the opposite direction. I will confess that the lo is no innocent victim either. All he does as soon as he sees my daughter in my lap is pull at her hair ruthlessly and cry for attention. How do you solve a situation when you see your elder one patiently set up her 2 feet high tower of legos and all it takes for the other naughty little ‘tyke’ is to come over and with a brush of his hands bring that tower crumbling down at her feet. After this chaos prevails. How do you explain to your 5yo why her little brother will never realize the ‘graveness of his offence’ . How do you babble to your infant that its a highly unrewarding act for the hard work of the 5 yo because of which I often have this conversation with my dd-

Me-I am so sorry for what your brother did, he is just a baby”

dd-“No he is not a baby , he is a shark”.

However these unpeaceful moments are beautifully balanced when you see how well they enjoy each others company. I cannot deny what a caring elder sister my daughter has turned out to be when she is always there to keep an eye on all the crazy things that your lo could be upto and all those moments when she is there to help me with his nappy changing and feeding and when I know that they are their to give each other company even when I get busy at times. It is also rewarding when sometimes your elder one tells you-

“I really love my brother, He is my best friend”,

even though the next moment you spot them pulling each other’s hair and the very next moment you are pulling your own!








13 Comments Add yours

  1. you are lucky that your daughter has allowed your son to be around….to share her parents’ lap, time….to share her toys, attention….etc…In this scenario…only the elder need to be moulded….and for that….the introduction and the background work starts….much earlier…isn’t it?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Well to be honest the dd is sometimes a tad too insecure and on other times there is a hustle over there to see who can get the better part of my affections , although yes at times she is rather sensible 😀

      Liked by 1 person

      1. true…we need to be very cautious…with these new generation kids….

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Great Post, I have the same experience with my boys 8 and my daughter 1, you would think they would understand that she is the baby and requires most my of my attention, but they get jealous!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow that is rather interesting to know, because I always thought that a age gap too big could well put things differently..really you never know with kids! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You never know, I think each child want to be the favorite, but I told them you are all equal in my eyes.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh yes, been there, done that. I have the exact same composition, 4 years between girl and boy, only they’re now 9 and 5… it is so tough! And with increased age comes the whole frustration of the eldest over having to work for school while the other one can play. It really is a love-hate relationship most of the time. I keep comforting myself that I know for sure that they’d protect each other out there no matter what.

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    1. I know things can be so different with a age difference like that, and surely the dynamics keep changing as they are growing up and surely as parents we get to learn so much and hopefully how we can cope with the developments. Its great to learn about your kids I am sure they will be protective of each other as I hope that mine will too. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for reading 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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